Of Natural Things …

Gold Fire near Adin, CA. August 2020

Belly button musing here …

Nature is NOT about us, nor is it nonsense. Nature does not “give us fear” nor is it a bully, it is simply sovereign. It is what it is. Wildland fire, floods, hurricanes, drought, volcanic eruptions, earthquakes and disease are not a new “normal”. They are natural planetary processes. We feel Fear when we experience them because we are fragile and vulnerable creatures, just like other tender tissues and life forms on this planet.

What I observe in a lot of teaching from You Tube gurus, is that what is occurring in the environment is “consciousness” driven. Raise your frequencies through Thought and Intent, don’t react in fear. Great change is coming, higher Beings have our back. What a bunch of storytelling malarkey … The sixth greatest extinction is on, happening right before our eyes, beneath our feet. Humankind as we know it is no longer a sustainable creature.

The sheer number of people on this planet, our impacts to terrestrial and oceanic landscapes, and our voracious appetites have created this conundrum. We have created multiple environmental tipping points by demanding a quality of life that is only sustained by ravenous feeding on other planetary Beings and resources. For example, the house I live in was built by gobbling up a massive number of trees. The car I drive dines off of mountains of ore … bauxite and iron. It’s engine gorges on layers of prehistoric forests and ancient vegetation. My clothes and shoes fatten off of the remains of cattle, cotton, sheep, dyes from chemicals derived from yet more plants… I/We have devoured our way across this planet and continue to feed on her landscapes to the point that other complex, beautiful Beings are being wiped out to the point of extinction every 4 minutes. What is happening with fires, floods, droughts, hurricanes, tornadoes and disease is Natural, is Her, our Earth Mama working her balancing act…

This is the time to Get. Out. Of. Our. Heads. The belief that thoughts are “things” was introduced in the late 1800’s through the New Thought Movement. I do not necessarily believe that to be truth … nor do I believe that thoughts drive evolution or that evolving “consciousness” is going to somehow resolve imbalances in huge planetary cycles. What is at play here is realizing that we all have been birthed into a Time of Turning. It is what it is. Flora, fauna, moss, bryophyte, bacteria, viruses, biogeochemical processes, rock, air, water and fire all play integral parts in balancing global systems. As creatures of this World, we are called to feel our fragility, our vulnerability as an acknowledgement of our total and complete dependence on Life as Earth provides it… Nature’s laws are sovereign and we are creatures that exist within its jurisdiction … members of the great Galactic mystery.

In Memory of a Friend …

In memory of my friend Russell Medina who passed away in the early morning hours – 1 year ago. Those of us who were together in vigil that night will be coming together once again this evening … I wrote about his passing last year and read this essay to his family and friends at his funeral. I have prepared copies to hand out to the Circle tonight …


My friend, Russell Medina, died early this morning before dawn. I have had the privilege to sit by his side for the past few days, keeping his wife company as we Stood Watch over his transformation. She had brought him home from the city last Sunday so he could die at home. He had been hospitalized in a major city off and on since last May. About six months ago, they had decided to move from our rural community to be closer to the medical care he needed. In doing so, they left behind their small, integral group of friends and community they had grown with over the past 16 years.

Russell was dying…. And he asked his wife to move them back to their cabin home where he could pass on in peace. Heeding his wishes, she and his daughter had him transported by ambulance to their cabin this past Sunday. Only 4 days ago. When I learned that they had arrived, I took my place with others who came to Support, Hold and Witness his passing with his wife.

It is always an Honor to have the opportunity to tell a loved one goodbye before they die. To Speak words which lay unspoken in the Heart, to offer thanks for their presence and friendship in our lives. I met my friend and his wife in church when they first arrived. He was of “American Indian” ancestry, a title he preferred to be identified with over “Native American”. He was a Medicine Man in his own right, offering ceremonies for Blessing of people and places. He told me a few years ago that he no longer “felt the presence of” his Medicine in his hands….it was gone, and with it went his Song and ability to drum for periods of time. He had asked me to create a new drum, a shield, for him last year and I happily obliged.

Yesterday, it was obvious that he would be “putting down his robe” soon. A group of us, seven in all, had gathered to Watch and wish him Godspeed for his journey. We gathered on the veranda outside of his room in the evening, a little before sunset. We sat in a semi-circle facing north. We had a magnificent view of our valley which ends at the base of Fox Mountain, a sacred place for me. Light evening thundershowers were passing overhead, it was a beautiful sight to behold.

We were relaxing, some with drinks in our hands, voices low in laughter and conversation when a thick lightning bolt came and slammed into the Mountain directly in front of us. All of us saw it, together… Moments later we are reaching for our phones to notify the local sheriff office to report that open flame was visible from the lightning strike. We all sat and watched as a helicopter appeared to size up the situation, and as fire engines began to pick their way across the landscape to reach the fire. The fire spread to about 20 acres real quickly, glowing bright orange and yellow as darkness fell. I drove home late, watching the fire blaze bright into the early morning hours.

I received a phone call early this morning from his wife, telling me that Russell was gone. I jumped into the shower to quickly wash up, threw on some clothes and drove to their home immediately to be with her and his daughter. While driving there, I heard a small chuckle in my Heart….Russell had said his goodbye in a powerful way…..He left us his bon voyage gift…..”Fire on the Mountain” to those of us who Stood by him to send him off, his “Medicine” fully returned.

All Blessings my Friend and Love…..Godspeed.”


Every moment of my journey in Life is tethered as a note to an expanding cosmic overture, a universal Song. That is the best word I can bring forth to describe it. I exist within a Song.

Each moment, as it beads by, is concurrent with millions of other simultaneous events. Every one of them is bound to its own frequency, a rhythm generated by its placement and proportion within the cosmic tapestry of Balance. They occur not just in this reality and dimension, but in other dimensions yet unseen within the fabric of the universe. From the birth of a single atom to the dying of stars, there are layers of synchronistic forces and activities that occur during a simple intake of breath.

As I write in the comfort of my room, a photon of light pierces a chloroplast. Shifts of air pressure above my head carry the winds aloft. The chrysalis of a butterfly breaks open and the embryo of an acorn thrusts its newborn root into soil. Water molecules rise into the air as others travel downstream to the oceans. Tissues are healed, while other cells succumb to entropy or death. New leaves unfurl in plants as other meristems prepare for winter dormancy. Cicadas emerge from their underground nurseries as calcium deposits meld their molecules to the geologic matrix of soil. Heat waves rise off of sun drenched rocks. A star is born while another decimates as a nova. Everything. All things. Happening in this one moment… from the microcosm of an electron to the enormous macrocosm of movements of entire galaxies. Synchronicity in pursuit of its own purpose in a World that is beyond the capacity of words to carry.

Our moments are far more loaded than they appear, completely drenched in a Song that has existed since the beginning of all things. The music of rain, of sunlight, tempest storm, of tree roots stretched deep underground, stars winging overhead at night … of fish and life in the Oceans. It is a chorus of leaves unfurling, of crickets chirping, rock weathering and lava pooling. Loud and raucous … a rhapsody of atoms and matter conjoined in Sacred chorus … occupying the same period in Time.

The Song is comprised of billions of notes. Cadences of deep potential coupled with higher choruses of expression and longing. All Songs blending, melding toward an apex of Fullness that flows way beyond my own sense of Self. The Song is both within and without, validating my existence as part and Sacred to the Whole … not just to the One.

My Heart enters this Song with “So Be It”. Amen …

Lessons from the 1st full moon …

It rained hard here last weekend, over one inch in less than 24 hours. I stayed home on Saturday, watching the water sheet off of the hill behind the house and exit the French drain down to the street. Rain continued intermittently on Sunday, when I ventured out across the valley to an early afternoon social engagement.

When it was time to return home, I decided to take the “long way”, sticking to small roads to check out the wildlife activity in our area. The snow geese are flocking in by the hundreds now. One can spot families of Canada geese, who are now pairing off in committed couples and settling on nesting territories to raise their broods. Last year was a bumper year for them, some had clutches with more than 12 chicks. When I see these geese pairing up, it reminds me of Spring…

I saw a large bird in the center of road, probably struck and killed by one of many large trucks that transect this lonely part of northeastern California. I pulled over to the side of the road, and went to remove the bird to place it in an adjoining field. It was a large Rough-legged Hawk and it appeared to have been lying on the road for some time. It was soaked through, feathers dripping with water. I lifted the bird off of the tarmac and walked to the nearby pasture, placing it just inside the fence line.

Walking back to my car, I noticed some of its feathers scattered along the roadside. I think they may have come off the bird upon impact. I walked along and gathered them up one by one. The feathers were in very poor shape … soaking wet and split apart. I went to place them with the hawk but as I bent down over the fence, I heard the words “Remember me”.
“Remember you?” I asked aloud as I looked at the ruined feathers in my hand. “I will try,” I spoke gently as I turned to go, laying the feathers carefully in the front seat of my car…..

How does one “Remember” an animal one has never met before? I kept turning that question over in my mind. I had no particular use for the feathers, but laid them out to dry in my bedroom. I looked at them at night when getting ready to retire, and would see them in the morning when I turned them over to assist the drying process. The edges of the feathers were shaggy, torn apart by the forces of the accident, the wind and rain. So, what did I need to learn and Remember about this creature?

Rough-legged hawks are a true arctic species …. Say what? They are from the North? Yes. They evolved under arctic conditions. They nest on cliffs, although pairs have been known to exploit other nesting areas like trees at the fringe of forests or on human-made structures. In winter, these hawks concentrate in open areas reminiscent of their tundra summer haunts, including pastures, marshy areas, and wet meadows … and that is exactly the habitat in which I found this bird.

Feather anatomy 101 (looking up info on the internet) validated that the feathers I collected were 6 secondary wing feathers (3 from each wing) and 1 tail feather and a few “downy” ones that were fluffy and soft. The purpose of the secondary feathers in a bird wing is to sustain the bird in the air by giving it “lift”. The tail feathers on a bird are analogous to the rudder of a ship or boat. They help them steer and maneuver while flying, as well as provide stability as they take-off and land. The downy feathers are usually located on the belly and provide thermal insulation, keeping the bird warm in winter months.

Last Wednesday, an impression came to mind to make a ritual fan for smudging sage with the feathers. Stranger ideas have come to me before … why not this project? To tell the truth, I really have not embraced spiritual rituals in my life. I may wave around a smoldering bundle of sage to freshen the house or leave tobacco or apples as a gift when walking in Nature. Yet I have not really introduced spiritual ritual in any form. I have set up an altar in my room, but only spend a cursory examination of it a couple of times during a day.

What I know about personal altars is that they are a place to hold prayers and intentions, as well as a focus for expressing and “Remembering” love and connection to Spirit… a place where non-ordinary reality is held within ordinary reality. Also a “Remembering” place of my ancestors, of my relationships within the Planetary Family, and what it means to Walk in Beauty as a true Human Being… “Remembering”….

This bird has truly given me profound lessons through its gift of feathers:
(1) It has validated my walk in the North of the Medicine Wheel, in Wisdom;
(2) I am encouraged to initiate a regular pattern of “Remembering” each day;
(3) Trust the rudder of Spirit as my guide, it will sustain and lift me in the flight of my remaining Journey;
(4) And to “Remember” my other Relations in Nature. To embrace them as guides and reflections of my own Heart….

These past 3 weeks walking with Talks with Relations, the first Clan Mother of the full moon, has been a Teaching. Just a little more illumination and understanding about how absolutely everything in Nature communicates through mirroring and direct teaching through example. I welcome the gifts of Wolf and Hawk. I now know to begin at the beginning … to seek and restore Harmony within myself and to “Remember” to honor the connection to my other kin with recognition and gratitude….

Shifting ….

There is a global tension being felt in the undercurrent of Life in response to climate and environmental change. I am well aware of the large effects occurring in this Time of Turning to habitat, water, air and to other living Beings. The news is full of information every morning I open the page. I find my emotions ricocheted across this spectrum most days which is not sustainable or healthy for my body or soul. Change is a fact, one of the key Truths of this World. Some changes are quicker in their effects on short term and long term trajectories. Some are downright terrifying.

I am driven to Hope in the thick of everything that is going on. Emotionally responding to current news is exhausting. We do not know how things are going to right themselves in the long run as Mother Earth works her way to a new Balance and Equilibrium. We can imagine, throw pictures onto the screen of the minds eye, but those images are not Truth….they are only images fed by projection and Hollywood science fiction movies. The question I seek an answer to is “How do I Stand as a true human being in these times?”

What is easily lost in the cacophony of these portents is the reality that something is deeper at work here. Something which is in All and pierces All, a subtle force of Light which Holds everything within its grasp of the cosmos. Over 110 billion humans have walked on the face of this Planet, some now living but most have passed on. Just like cells in a body, human creatures are a catalyst of Change to the surface of the Earth. Mother made us, feeds us, has sustained the existence of the hominid species for a little over 1.6 million years. WE may feel that we are the key components of driving change in this World, but keep in mind that Gaea has a purpose of her own in all of this, far greater than we can ever imagine.

I am choosing to Shift my Gaze, to look for the Light, the Miracle which lies within the calyx of a flower, in the Blessed alchemy of Water, in the creative force of Fire, in the cycles of the atmosphere and the gigantic processes of Earth. I choose to Shift my Gaze, to embrace a deep trust in this Planet and its processes. It “knows” what It is doing, even though it may result in the demise of our species. Life begets Life, one form replaces another. Disturbance is one of the driving principles in the creation and maintenance of that Life force here….

When I embrace a deep Trust in Nature, I no longer feel Fear. When I work in collaboration with these forces, I feel a keen sense of Balance. When I stir my compost piles, I Trust in the microbes to replenish the soil, they simply know what to do. They work in accordance with bacterial processes and enzymes, with frost and heaving cycles, with the rainfall that falls to the Earth… bringing Change to the rhizosphere which then feeds other organisms including trees and plants.

It is my Trust that propels me into Action, but without the Fear. It is my Trust that silently welcomes Hope to my world-weary Heart, like the dew on a meadow at dawn. My Trust launches me into joining my Heart to the persistent Light which underscores all things. Something elusive, but clearly perceived in my peripheral vision. It’s constancy a refuge, a balm to my news-weary Soul….

Tuesday Night Belly Button Musings…

Belly Button Musings on a Tuesday Night….

This process we call Life can never be “won”, only played from the authetic center of who I am, who You are. We stand in “this” moment … connected with all that has gone on before, all that is going on now, and with everything that is yet to come to this Planet. We are part of a colossal epic, whose story is measured in geologic time. Eons made up of star dust and processes that stretch back billions of years … which will continue on in its own fluid trajectory for billions more.

We are a conscious creation, hardwired to thousands of intricate layers of interdependent relationships which are essential for the creation and sustainability of Life in all its forms. Fungi depend upon bacteria, bacteria depend on enzymes, enzymes feed off of basic minerals and release their waste into their surroundings. We are Children of Gaea, awake in a realm of potential, possibility, creativity… of things being born, and of things dying. Delicate and perceptive, we travel a fragile journey with and in this Mystery of staggering Beauty.

It is the mind that creates separation, it severs the Soul from the rich soil of its Beginnings… It tricks us into “thinking” we are adrift, in disjunction with that which has both birthed and sustains us. Ask the Stone People, who are the Memory Keepers of this Place, about our story. Ask about the stories of all of the Children who have Risen in this place. They knew this World before even water was brought from the sky, before the oceans were born. Ask them about the intricacies of Balance, of the self-regulation of homeostasis that lies deep within the fabric of this World…. A World that creates consciousness in its many varied offspring…

I can only Stand mute before my Mother… squishing my toes into Her mud as my eyes and ears are filled with the cacophony of bird song winging overhead. I weep from the Fullness of a driving west wind against my back. And whisper a prayer of deep gratitude when listening to the heartbeat within my own chest….

Stoned Frequencies II.

I found myself in a very dangerous situation the past few days, created from my own ignorance and deep willingness to help. Last week, I attended a close friend who died. I simply wanted to be a support person for him and his wife and sat near or next to him during his transition. Emotionally and spiritually, I opened myself wide to be available for whatever was needed. It never occurred to me that it would have been better to have entered the situation shielded.

I need to explain something here…. I’m a woman who is familiar with the “current” of dying and have assisted other friends in their transformation. I have first-hand knowledge of the process, having experienced two near-death episodes of my own (NDE), and a spontaneous shared-death experience (SDE) with my grandmother. In each of these circumstances, I saw and felt my physical body attached to this world through a “silver cord” which is comprised of hundreds of fine thread-like energy filaments attached to “nadi” centers in the body. In death, one travels along these filaments and cord until distance itself causes them to disengage from ones physical form.

I am not, and never have been, a student of yoga. I simply know what I saw and experienced during my NDE’s. The only explanation I have found which describes these energy filaments comes from yoga theory. Nadis carry prana, or life force energy. In the physical body, the nadis are considered channels that carry the frequency and nature of air, water, nutrients, blood and other bodily fluids. They energetically work with and are similar to the arteries, veins, capillaries, , nerves, and lymph canals of the body. In the ethereal body (or subtle and causal body), they work a bit differently. The nadis are channels for so called cosmic, vital, seminal, mental, and intellectual energies and vibrations. Different yoga texts agree that the number of nadis contained in the human body are in the tens of thousands.

So much for the lesson on nadis….. now back to the process of the death experience.

After my friend died, I experienced a strange disconnect with my own body. I felt like I was dying myself, or that my own death would come soon. I felt cold….my feet, hands and core were icy to touch. I laid in my bed fully clothed, with a fleece jacket on and under a heavy sleeping bag. That is all I wanted, to lay under my heavy sleeping bag. I cared little about what was going on around me. I could not get centered and even felt tendrils of energy filaments floating freely in front of my chest….kind of like the tentacles of a jellyfish in ocean waters. This went on for a period of 5 days.

A friend called yesterday and invited me out to sit and visit on Ash Creek for a while. I told her what I was experiencing. She recommended that I create a grounding necklace for myself and then take off my shoes to ground with the earth. I did as she recommended, looking for anything that would help me feel better….. and it worked.

There was a deep lesson for me to learn in this experience. My own ethereal body or aura “knows” the transition of death, and I got “caught” in the currents and eddies of my friends dying process. I had to “call” my own prana or life force back to myself, using the grounding of the earth both directly and in her “stoned frequencies” of rocks and gems. I know that it is not yet my time to leave. I simply got pulled into my friends transformation through my love for him….

I will continue to walk barefoot on the earth and the necklace will remain around my neck for a while. I really do believe that rocks and stones have metaphysical properties that can assist in balancing our auric field. The semiprecious stones I used to assist me to “ground” include:

Red Jasper – A Supreme Nurturer.
Labradorite – Stone of the Northern Lights.
Snowflake Obsidian – Protection stone. Forms a Shield.
Sardonyx – Stone of Protection and Strength.
Agate – Stone of Inner Stability.
Smoky Quartz – Stone of Power and Grounding.
Hematite – Protection stone, Grounding.
Garnet – Stone of Health.
Mexican Fire Agate- Stone of Spiritual Perfection
Black Jade – Power of Stillness.

Yet another strange tale to tell…..

As Above…so Below

This statement is often associated with Sacred geometry, European alchemy, the Tarot and modern wiccan practices. The phrase is derived from a passage in the Emerald Tablet, which was used as the foundational code for European alchemists back in the day. Today, the phrase is readily used in a secular context. The phrase refers to the idea that “the microcosm reflects the macrocosm”, that the individual or domestic ills can result from larger societal ills. I think this historical colloquium describes a sacred relationship whose perimeter encompasses a far greater potential and idea….

How many of you have a physical challenge or chronic disability? Something in our bodies that we are forced to embrace and integrate in our daily lives? A systemic, deep expression of disharmony in the body, mind, emotional plane or the ethereal or astral body? Why do I ask this question? Because I believe, through my own experience, that a disabling condition has the potential to “wake” us into a deeper understanding and relationship to Life.

When we are forced by Life to sit down and withdraw from the responsibilities and noise of everyday activity, our attention is forced into what is happening in the Body. We can no longer keep on crunching through the minutia that makes up the majority of life activities…. Answering phones, going shopping, brushing our teeth, working full-time, paying attention to everyone and everything else that calls our attention and engages our Life Force.

For many years, I was “warned” by little body and situational signs that I needed to slow down. My busyness and constant pushing to attain specific goals I desired in my Life completely engaged my mind and energy 24/7. Although I was given these signs, I regarded them as trivial or that I had enough resilience to spring back into my mainstream habits in no time. Until one day, an insignificant “slip” on damp steel work steps took me completely out of the life I knew and thought I was building for my future.

Self-awareness was not something I actively sought to do or embrace at that time. I was busy raising my children and building a successful career as an Ecologist. I became aware of “signs” that showed up periodically while pursuing my advanced college degrees. I continued to see them when working abroad, or on domestic restoration projects. I trusted in my assumption that my young body could handle anything, that I had the world by the tail. I never recognized that these “signs” were showing up to direct me to consider or surrender to a different trajectory than what I was striving to do….until the moment arrived that resulted in shattering everything I held to be true.

Mother Earth, Gaea, had been calling me to walk a different Journey, far from the masculine defined World I was immersed in on a daily basis. She literally tacked my ass to a chair. Symbolically, I could not move: left or right, up or down, forward or backwards. I was stilled to the point of complete incapacity.

My disabilities have proven to be a harsh taskmaster, and one of my greatest teachers over the decades. They have forced me to explore and embrace my body and my unexplored capabilities. They have allowed me lots of quiet time, to learn to journey into myself and into the quiet places of

the interstitial spaces between molecules in this World. The Feminine lives there.

I have learned to embrace the reality that I am not a separate entity, but live within the interconnectedness of absolutely everything. I have learned to Receive as well as Give, deeply to each moment as it unfolds, and toward this Planet. My disabilities have helped me to deepen my Trust in my own Intuition and Higher Self, and that they are directly correlated to the complex degradation of this Planet and loss of Her species. I could only learn and experience these truths through being forced into Quietness …..

“As above, so below”….. Namaste’.

The Spirits of Trees…

A Tree Story…..I have known about Plant Spirits for a very long time, over 30+ years to be more precise.

I came across a writing today in an old journal where I described a “visitation” by several plant spirits back in 1986. I use to write voraciously in journals as a young woman. I guess my propensity to write began back in the day when I simply chronicled everything about myself, even good sex. At the time, I felt that my life was invisible. So much energy and activity being put out that went unnoticed by others. I began to write so that I would not disappear in this ocean of Life…at least I would appear in print. It seemed to give me a sense of being more solid or real, that I had a fullness of experience I could witness to myself. Journaling at the time gave me solace in a world where I felt alone. It still does.

In 1986 I had moved my family into a group living situation in the high desert of Nevada, at Scorpion Springs Ranch. The ranch was located many miles up in a deeply cleft canyon dominated by pinyon pine and sagebrush. The pungent smell of pinyon pitch filled the air on any given sunny day, even in winter. Encountering a plant spirit or entity in this place was a spontaneous experience, one that has been a challenge to duplicate ever since. This experience shook me to the core, so I thought I would share it. I was living in a 2 room rustic cabin with my daughters when I decided to soak up some sun rays in the autumn light. After laying down, I decided to relax by using a deep breathing method I remembered when giving birth 4 years earlier called the Bradley method. I put myself into a deep, relaxed meditative state. I remember letting “the Earth below me hold my bones, turning my muscles into fluid, commanding them to hold no strength, no power”.

I became highly sensitized to the sun on my skin and how the wind “literally dragged over the surface of my skin… I “saw” the wind lick and curl, form small eddies, then dissipate into fine tendrils…like a layer of smoke actively curling into rings around my breasts, whirlpools in action under my armpits.” At the time I thought “What a trip! I bet this is what It’s like to be a plant, firmly rooted in one spot. This is what they experience”. I think it was a combination of my deep relaxation state and my openness that allowed me to experience what happened next.“… An image had risen in my mind moments before they appeared. It was like a stone being plopped into a thin soup of mud, or better yet, it looked like a bubble rising out of a mud pot one finds in Yellowstone. Only the outspreading rings of the droplet changed colors, ripples of rainbow – dull, as if looking through brown glass.

As soon as the bubble plopped and the ripples dissipated, I experienced a soft pressure at the bottom of my feet…I was caught totally by surprise, and I sensed that They were too. I opened my eyes ever so slightly. I “saw” the energy fields of multiple pinion trees and strongly felt their presence. “They are always here!” I remember thinking to myself. I repeated the statement over and over in my mind, full of awe. Three smaller plant devas were along my left side…soft in pressure and just there, curious and observant”… their forms were “like those inflatable punching bags in shape, with a distinct entity in the center of the field. Two large ones were at my feet, I could feel them barely touch the soles of my feet. The smaller ones were on my left side. None of them placed themselves between me and the cabin, preferring to stay in direct contact with the open spaces.

Their energy fields appeared lightly translucent with definite forms outlined in the center of them in colors of gold, yellow, brown and light green. They have a form completely different from anything I have ever seen in my life. Not tree, nor shrub, flower, rock or water. Inhuman, yes. Absolutely. Alive, yes. Definitely.

Spirits of trees are not demure, nor domesticated by any stretch of the imagination. They are nothing like human beings or other creatures. They do not speak in a form of language we can readily receive or even understand anymore. They are not easily coaxed into dialogue nor make themselves easily known.I have received tree and other plant spirits as visitors only a few times in my life. The visits always happen when I am fully awake, deeply relaxed and open to the moment. I continue to be surprised and often stand baffled, bewildered and in awe during one these visitations. I have even recorded them singing….. They are not objects, things to be looked at like a piece of furniture. Plants, trees especially, are incredible creatures not to be minimized by Hollywood illustrations. They Bless us by their presence, sages who stand in one place, for thousands of years sometimes, Holding as Sacred the boundary meetings of Air, Earth, and Water……

In the Shadow of the Creek…

I find myself in the “Shadow of the Creek” …. That was the best I could come up with when talking with a girlfriend this evening. She asked me if anything was wrong between the two of us, and I said “No, there is nothing unfinished between you and I, it is just me….I am in the shadow of the creek”. I sense this Shadow …. Especially when my inner wind dies down, with nothing there to drive my sails. When nothing I have ever done, accomplished, dreamed about seems to give me an ounce of satisfaction…. When I lack feeling about anything, even myself.

Of course my statement is a reflection of a metaphor. I can have a long period of time where internal Balance and Clarity of eye and thought come with ease. I can write, produce artwork through various mediums, support others in their ventures and generally feel that the World is okay, despite the ecological precipice in which humanity stands. I feel that I journey with some knowledge about this World and what wags it, and even imagine I occupy a particular place in it….I feel a sense of Worth, and with that feeling I can somehow effect change, good change to this trajectory in which we find ourselves.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe once wrote “Where there is much light, the shadow is deep”. So much for my period of light… it has been absorbed by the presence of Shadow… I know what has been said about Light and Shadow, that we exist in a realm of Duality. That the “Shadow” is an aspect of ourselves, represented by the Great Feminine Womb from which everything comes into being. Yeah, yeah…sure. I must be on some deep adventure to “Become all that I can be”, to look at and even embrace those aspects of myself I have not yet “chosen to become”. What a bunch of crock…. All I know is that I feel alone and pretty shitty, not able to see enough to place my next foot step.

Enduring a period of Shadow is a rudderless experience. I have no idea how long it will last or where it will lead me. Right now, I am choosing to cut off all of my engines, power them down, stop my personal sense of drive. Assume the position of “coast-mode”… not fight it’s pull or direction, but lay quietly in its embrace, with no anticipation of what may be coming around the next bend. I have to lay my trust in it’s nature, kind of like trusting in the characteristic of buoyancy in wild waters… I know I can float….